Dr Fuad-deen Olabisi Kekere-ekun wrote:
THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING THE FEMALE VIRGINITY BEFORE MARRIAGE IN ISLAM.
Virginity is a very strong sign of chastity in Islam. It cannot be underestimated today no matter what reasons we choose to profer here or else where. The Prophet s.a.w. recommended marrying virgins.
That does not mean only those with intact hymens but those who have never attempted premarital sex till the time of nikah. Meeting the hymen intact or seeing blood stains on the first night is not as important as knowing that no man has touched the lady before getting
married for the first time.
The nikah of those married as virgins are not the same with those married after they have lost their virginity through premarital sex because their
first partner remains on their mind.
Women should strive to keep their virginity till their first night in marriage for their first ever
legal husband. That is the joy of it all and that is the culture that Islam treasures a lot
and also a practice treasured in so many tribes and cultures of the world.
Virginity may not tell you the state of the heart but it
definitely sends a strong message of
morality, fidelity, chastity, loyalty and good home training and upbringing. No right thinking man will like to wish away such rare
and invaluable precious qualities in a woman.
We are not marrying from Hollywood,
Bollywood or Nollywood. We are marrying from a pool of well trained muslim sisters from good Islamic homes. That is why Allah says that the fornicator should marry the fornicatress, and the pure and chaste men should also marry the pure and chaste women.
Besides it does not matter or make
much difference if a lady has been in jahiliyah or not prior to the time of practising Islam well and getting married. Jahiliyah is
different from jahiliyah. There is jahiliyah
with good home training and moral
upbringing and there is jahiliyah with lack of
home training and reckless and immoral
upbringing. The fact that a lady grew up without Islam doesn't mean that she must have grown up loose without morality and
chastity. Jahiliyah is not synonymous with reckless and immoral living and engaging in premarital sex and affairs. Most of our pious predecessors including the Prophet s.a.w. married before Islam during jahiliyah(ignorant) period and they married chaste women. In most cultures in the world, both Muslim and non-muslim, virginity and chastity are two inseparable twin qualities of good marriable spinsters.
We are not saying that only virgins
are chaste but being virgins at the time of nikah is a sure proof of chastity. Of course there are exceptions but they must remain exceptions because the accepted and recommended norm in Islam is to marry muhsanat which means chaste women either
from the never married who are expected to be virgins and previously married chaste
women from among the widows and
divorcees who must have been married as
virgins the first time they got married.
However virgins are given priority over the previously married chaste women in the
Sunnah of the Prophet (s.a.w.). Exceptions
are chaste women who lost their virginity
through rape or exercises when small but
they must feel the loss and wish they didn't
lose it physically though they remain chaste
because virginity is a virtue and remains a
virtue in today's immoral world though lack
of hayah i.e. Islamic shyness and modesty in women is making many to disregard the
sanctity and sacredness attached to virginity.
Those who lost their virginity before
developing islamic consciousness but later sincerely repented are among the chaste women but they are not equal with those who eventually married as virgins. That is why the Prophet s.a.w. said that paradise is guaranteed for any muslim man who succeeds in raising three, two or even one
daughter with sound morals till he marries
them out. This is their reward for marrying
out their daughters as virgins. And he (s.a.w.) also said that the cuckold men who allow their wives and daughters to go out of
the home indiscriminately and live immoral lives will not smell the aroma of paradise and will not enter it. Our young muslim girls
must be taught to value, cherish and
jealously guard their virginity till they get married. They must be made to know and
understand the implication of carelessly losing their virginity and the importance of
keeping it intact till they reach maturity age of getting married so that they are not discriminated against when looking for
marriage partners in the future.
Parents too must learn to protect their young girls from
possible sexual abuse and rape incidences by never leaving them alone with strange men
and grown male relatives who may abuse them. They must also be protected from useless sporting events and exercises that can
lead to the loss of virginity. These measures are strictly observed in many non-muslim
tribes and cultures of the world where they value and cherish virginity. Why not in the
muslim community where it is a sunnah to marry virgins? Keeping virginity till marriage
from time immemorial has been the best proof of chastity and the best way to remove
all forms of suspicions of immorality and
engagement in promiscuity.
There is no way of establishing or differentiating the way of
losing a virginity once it is lost. No one can say the difference between a ''one-time
offender'' , a ''chronic offender'' and a completely innocent lady who has lost her virginity so it is better kept intact till the
We as Muslims and as good
cultured and morally upright people of the world must continue to praise, glorify and
recommend it as the Prophet s.a.w. did and taught us to do as a valid and strong sunnah
that has come to stay.
May Allah keep us guided. Amin.
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